Monday, December 29, 2008

Helmet Woes

Here are the thoughts I have been having in my head lately, almost non-stop:

"I can't let my son grow up with a misshapen head his whole life when I am able to do something about it!"
"But I don't want to make him have one more piece of medical equipment to bug him."
"Maybe it's not that bad, maybe we can fix it ourselves."
"Even if I always lay him on his side, he will roll on his back and the pressure will never be put on the areas that need it."
"How will he feel when he looks at his baby pictures and sees a helmet?"
"How will he feel when he looks at his baby pictures and sees a head that needs a helmet?
"So-and-so thinks it's a good idea."
"So-and-so thinks it's a bad idea."
"So-and-so says helmets always work."
"So-and-so says helmets often do not work."
"So-and-so's baby got a helmet and they are SO glad they got it!"
"So-and-so's baby was recommended to get a helmet, but they chose not to and they are SO glad!"
"Kids grow out of flat heads. Flat heads are very common now, since babies are supposed to sleep on their backs, but you never see adults walking around with flat heads (never mind that when we adults were babies, our parents put us to sleep on our tummies!)"
"There is only a small window of time, age 7-8 months, when a helmet can be effective, because that is when babies have their head growth spurt." (I would love it if someone could PLEASE tell me how old Boo is...8 months technically, 6 months gestationally, and 5 months developmentally...). If a baby needs his head fixed after that time, the skull bones must be broken through a series of four laser surgeries and the helmet process is much more drawn out and significant."
"If insurance pays for it, it will come out of our medical equipment funds, which we will max out very quickly with all the medical equipment we have and we will end up having to pay a TON."
"If insurance does not pay for it, we have to pay $1800, $900 on the first appointment."
"If we wait another few weeks, we can see if we can make any progress on our own, without a helmet. Then we will be better informed as to whether we need it."
"If we wait another few weeks, he may already be hitting his head growth spurt."
"If we get a helmet, a lot of stress will be relieved in that we won't have to constantly be moving him to be on his side...he could sleep on his back again and spend however much time in his bouncy seat. The helmet would fix all of our problems."
"A helmet is the easy way out for those who are unwilling to be diligent and patient and long-suffering, and have all other attributes needed to be a good parent."
"Now is a great time for a is winter and he has to stay in anyway!"
"Who wants to have a helmet?"

OK, so what did I choose? I still didn't have my mind made up as I was driving to our appointment with the helmet people this morning, but by the time I got there, I gave the woman my card and paid the $900. It's over, and remarkably, my stress is considerably diminished concerning the matter. In ten business days, Boo will have a helmet, which he will likely wear for the next 2-3 months. No big deal. I am not sure if this is the "right" thing to do, or if there is even a "right" thing, but I definitely feel OK about it now, and any decision at this point is a step in the right direction. I hope all our decisions are not this difficult!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love S

1. He is totally good and honest and easy to talk to and get along with.
2. He can successfully place an NG tube in Boo's nose, among the many other things that he has learned to do with Boo (things that lots of dads never even have to think about!)
3. He trusts in God and helps me to do the same. His faith is amazing and he always has been able to get me out of my doubts and fears.
4. He trusts me and encourages me to "follow my heart"
5. He knows what kinds of things I like and he makes the effort to give them to me (ie. a hot bath with a good book, time to go running after he gets home from work, Milky Ways, etc). Basically, he encourages me to take time for myself and do things that I like to do and he watches Boo while I do my thing!
6. He loves Boo and he gives him rides on his Boppy (which Boo LOVES)
7. He does 4am feedings and changes poopy diapers willingly, without any complaints ever!
8. In spite of the fact that I sometimes get after him about things, he NEVER gets after me about anything. And he takes all my issues in stride, never taking offence and always trying to make me feel good.
9. He likes my made-up songs and silliness, even in the middle of the night when I am totally ridiculous in my sleep!
10. Although he is definitely smarter than me in many ways, he takes time to explain things to me, talks to me about things that are sometimes over my head, and even listens to and values my thoughts and opinions!
11. He will drop anything to help me out when I need it (and I have needed it sometimes, LET me tell you!...) He would also drop anything to help anyone else in need...I have seen him do it time and again.
12. He leads with love in our home, NEVER with harshness.
13. He has incredible taste in movies and other forms of entertainment! (ie. "Happiest Millionaire", "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers," etc...never seen anything like this stuff!)

OK, that was 13...but that is not even all!! I can think of lots more reasons that I love my sweet husband, some of which I would not write on a public blog. Suffice it to say that I think I have one of the very most amazing men in the world as a spouse and I am SO glad that we got married, even after all we have been through in this short year-and-three-months...ESPECIALLY after all we have been through! I have the sweetest little son too, and I couldn't ask for anything more than the wonderful family that I have been blessed with.